Why Little Hufferingham may not be all bad

A little while ago I wrote a blog post about why you don't need to leave The Big Smoke to have a little sprog. I may have given the misleading impression that I think London living is all roses. And I may have been a little bit harsh to Little Hufferingham. So to redress the balance here's a list of 20 signs you've been in London too long...

1.    You think a shop assistant is flirting with you if they smile or make eye contact during your transaction.

2.    You know the rule about how you're only allowed one attempt at touching in with your Oyster card and if the red light comes on you have to rejoin the back of the queue, not just try again.

3.    You always flout this rule because you're in a hurry.

4.    You think 9 to 5 is part time.

5.    You couldn't identify your neighbours in an ID parade.

6.    You roll your eyes at people who think the OPEN button on the tube actually opens the doors.

7.    You think a window box constitutes reasonable 'outside space'.

8.    You have had to physically restrain yourself from punching a tourist for standing on the left on an escalator.

9.    You can't understand why other cities don't have escalator rules.

10. You think Birmingham is The North. You can't be certain but you think Peterborough is probably The North.

11. You have figured out what the pink Oyster touch points are for.

12. You have never been to Madame Tussauds.

13. You wouldn't dream of taking the tube from Leicester Square to Covent Garden. Not least because Covent Garden is for tourists.

14. You don't flinch when asked to pay 89p for a bag of crisps.

15. You understand how to find out which bus stop you need.

16. You know that Sir John Soane’s Museum is not a 'hidden gem'.

17. You think Eternity is waiting 4 minutes for a tube.

18. You know there are 100 seconds in a TFL minute.

19. You think it's fair game if someone nicks your bike when it was only single locked to a lamppost.

20. You know Camden is an abomination.